Sunday, April 27, 2014

Most unlikely

People ask me from time to time, so here it is…would I want to get married again.  That seems like a simple enough question, but really it isn’t.
Would I get married again?  I might, if the right person came along.  My dear departed hated loneliness and he would have wanted me to marry again, or at least find another love.  But there are just so many reasons I don’t think it will happen.

First, it truly is unlikely that I would meet a man that would be compatible to me.  Notice, I did not say that I would be compatible to him, I am a pretty accepting person.  But I have observed that most men in my age range are not.  I am a spiritually minded follower of Jesus that doesn't go to church, a geek of several magnitudes (sci-fi and SCA being the two most obvious), viciously competitive at board games, and hopelessly, squishy, sentimental about the oddest things.  Also, there is my family.  Nice bunch of people, but we have quick mouths attached to weird humor.  It would take a unique man to be able to swim in that stream.

Oh, I do have a few standards.  I like a guy to be clean and fairly able to care of himself.  I don’t like motorcycles, tobacco smoke, or sports.  Don’t care if you like sports, as long as I don’t have to, but the other two are a bit non-negotiable, as the risks and odors are always there.  Also, I don’t lightly suffer fools.
But suppose I did meet someone compatible; then I would have to start that whole getting to know each other dance.  Do you know how much work that is?  I have been alive almost 59 years, and I’m assuming Mr. Interesting will be in a similar age range.  I don’t know if we would have enough sand left in our hour glasses to get caught up with each other.

But then, let’s say a miracle occurred and I met someone that I might consider starting a relationship with.  Relationship.  That implies, at some point, getting naked and stuff.  I haven’t gotten naked in front of a new man (not counting Doctors) in over 30 years.  I do not feel attractive and sexy, and if some man tried to tell me I was, I would figure either he was lying for some nefarious reason of his own, or perhaps deeply kinky in a way I don’t want to know about.  Then three is “the act.”  From what I hear, people have all kinds of expectations anymore that involve extreme hair removal.  Not only that, but I have never once in my entire life needed to use a condom.  I understand that they are basic now, but I don’t know the etiquette, the ins and out, so to speak.

If you are a mathematician, a statistician, a wizard of odds, you do the figures.  I think the chance of be getting married again are less than the chance of me winning the lottery.  Would I want to meet a man who could make me laugh, stand back to back with me when life’s battle get tough, and fill in the lonely places?  You bet.  I’m just not holding my breath.  Why do you ask, do you know someone?

No comments:

Post a Comment