Sunday, December 15, 2013

Never Not

Ah, the joys of season! Social occasions filled with foods and drinks., caroling, shopping in busy stores with long lines, and pain.

Really, don't ask me how I am.  I don't like to talk about it because I am so tired of it that I can only imagine how those closer to me feel.  But I am never not in pain.

I have learned to manage my fibromyalgia, mostly.  I guard my sleep like the precious commodity that it is.  I try to balance just enough physical activity with not crossing that line that will leave me exhausted for days.  Being past the worst of the hormone rages helps, too.  But yes, I still have it, and a sleepless night can make me feel like I have been run over by Santa's cute little reindeer.

And I'm not just a picky eater, I still have gout.  The meds help, a lot.  But I still get random toe pains.  Sometimes an ankle will just start twinging and hurting for no apparent reason.  Add to that, I have the beginnings of arthritis, especially in the joints that have suffered the worst of the gout attacks.  So, some days I move slower than others.  Some days climbing the stairs is harder than the steep hills I hiked every day as a kid.

So please invite me a long, but also please understand that I may need to sit more, keep warmer, or not be able to eat or drink everything on the menu.  Don't be offended, I have learned to take care of myself.  I try not to whine and complain.  If I say "Go on without me."  It really is me, not you, and I really don't mind. It would make me more sad if my stupid old body kept you back from whatever the fun is.  I'm a big girl, and I can't take care of myself.

Today is a good day, but yes, there is a stab in this finger, my shoulders are vaguely achy, oh, and that wrist just joined the fun.  I am never not in pain.

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