Fair Warning

I feel like I need to explain something.  I have another blog out there, and if you are interested and know me on facebook you have probably seen it.  I started that one for a specific purpose: to talk about aspects of my spiritual journey.  Then, at a later point, I decided that I wanted a place to talk about other stuff and started this one.  But I need to be really clear, I don't write either of these for you.  I write them for me and share them with you.

Yes, I have secondary reasons for each one, or why would I write them at all.  My secondary reason for the other one is that I have friends who are interested.  My secondary reason for this one is to let off steam, share random ideas, and because I'm just vain enough to think that something I have to say might be worth something to someone.

That being said, I also need to say that unless I actually write the words "I need some (advice, help, guidance, information) then I don't need your advice.  I especially don't need you "should."  If you find yourself starting to type "You should" to me at any point, just stop and keep it to yourself.  That isn't to say I don't treasure your opinions and ideas, but there are ways to share them with me without starting off with a phrase that says "you are doing it wrong."

I have several friends who are atheists.  Now, I don't care that they are atheists, but I do care when they use language and post against other people's spiritual beliefs in a way that is as hateful, if not more so, than the behaviors of some of those belief systems they are attacking.  Calling another person stupid for what they believe is just wrong, I don't care who you are.  There are better ways to share information than attacking another person.  If you are my facebook friend and you do this on a regular basis, I will choose not to see most of your posts.  If I don't have any other good reason to keep you as a friend I will drop you.  I'm too old and life is too short to keep any more anger and hate in my life than I can avoid.

I have friends who are some type of pagan.  They tend to be the most respectful.

I have friends who are more traditional "Christians."  To them I would say, no, I'm not "unteachable."  That is an offensive word used to write people off if they don't agree with your theology.  No, I don't have chapter and verse memorized (in most cases) and no I don't want to go look it up.  I have spent to many years of my life in those discussions.  If you want to have a real discussion, then you have to be willing to spend the time to really hear my side of it, not just look for key words that you can try to stab with your scripture sword.  If that is the discussion you want to have, go read my other blog, or lets plan on spending some time together.

I love my friends.  And if you are reading this, and I don't know you, there is a good chance that if I did know you I would love you too.  But you need to know that I also am learning what it is to really love myself.  This is your fair warning:  though I will try to be respectful, if you pull the stuff I have outlined in this writing at this time, I am going to call you on it.  If that offends you, then you don't understand, but that isn't my problem.  Really.

Obligatory Thankfulness

It isn't that I don't have a lot to be thankful for.  I really do.  Oh, not that I don't have some challenges, who couldn't use better health and more money.  But I see friend after friend do obligatory thankfulness posts year after year, and they are almost always the same things : family, kids, job, home, enough to eat.

Thanksgiving used to be my absolute favorite holiday. I loved that it wasn't about anything but hanging out with family, sharing good food, and being thankful.  As my kids have grown and married, however, family has become more complicated.  So we compromise and switch off and figure it out, but it isn't the same.  I miss ....

I miss the women of my family, my older generations all gone.  I miss the home made fudge my grandma would have in the candy dish, her light as air biscuits, her special dishes and silver.  I miss my Aunt Eunice's weird and often inedible salads from some recipe in the newspaper.  I miss my mom's fussing, and the way her long, strong hands looked, as she dried them on her apron.

I miss the traditions.  I miss the photo session to show all the generations, where we are all dressed in our holiday best.  I miss the cousins tumbling around on the floor while the men tried to watch the game, in B&W of course.  I miss (weirdly) the smell of cigar smoke.  I miss the after dinner walk in the park.  I even miss being crammed too tight around the table, and the obligatory "Let's go around and everyone say what you're thankful for."

I miss the times when everyone knew that all the stores would be closed and Friday was the day to rest up from T day, and maybe start getting the Christmas decorations out.

But I am thankful, for my kids and grand-kids, both near and far.  I am thankful that my children have found love and marriages that bring them joy.  I am thankful that, in these tough times, and though they are inadequate retail jobs, and some of them have to go to work tomorrow night so all you crazy people can buy all that stuff no one really needs for a few dollars less on Friday, well, at least they have jobs for now, and we are getting by.

And I sincerely, with all my heart, thank God that I have the freedom to my beliefs, the chance to express myself, a world of almost instant information and entertainment from a machine in my warm bedroom, and access to modern plumbing.  Yeah, like every year, I'm especially thankful for flush toilets and nice, hot showers.

Ranty Rantiness

I am feeling...irritated?  Frustrated?  Discouraged?

So, I belong to a hobby group (you know who you are) but it could just as well be read as club, or church, or gaming community, because I have seen the same behaviors in all of those.

And sometimes you could even say family or workplace.

And this group gathers based on a mutual interest.  They are passionate and they have high ideals and great plans to be this fun, supportive, educational, whatever community.  They have spoken and unspoken definitions of what it is to be one of them, and who is to be viewed with disdain, who is in, who is out, who gets recognized, praised, rewarded, whatever.

And then they get mean.  Oh, not all of them, but groups within the groups get power and start using it to keep other people from getting all the good cookies.  I expect that in so much of life, but if this organization gives some lip service to good manners, or service, or loving one another, then it makes me want to scream in someones face.

And no, I'm not being naive, I understand that that is just how the world works.  Man is nasty, political animal who often doesn't play well with others.  I realize that I keep foolishly hoping that people will think things through once in a while and at least try to behave the way they say they believe.  And of course, I keep getting my hope cruelly smashed all to shit.

So, why are there so many songs about rainbows?  'Cause there is always a dreamer, someplace.  And me.